Ships in the Night by Lawrence Bush

I had only just arrived at the club when I bumped into Roger.
After we had exchanged a few pleasantries, he lowered his voice and
asked, "What do you think of Martha and I as a potential twosome?"

"That," I replied, "would be a mistake. Martha and me is more
like it."

"You're interested in Martha?"

"I'm interested in clear communication."

"Fair enough," he agreed. "May the best man win." Then he sighed.
"Here I thought we had a clear path to becoming a very unique
couple."

"You couldn't be a very unique couple, Roger."

"Oh? And why is that?"

"Martha couldn't be a little pregnant, could she?"

"Say what? You think that Martha and me...."

"Martha and I."

"Oh." Roger blushed and set down his drink. "Gee, I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't," I assured him. "Most people don't."

"I feel very badly about this."

"You shouldn't say that: I feel bad...."

"Please, don't," Roger said. "If anyone's at fault here, it's me!"